Those of you that know me well will know that I am my father's daughter. I love to organize, I love to alphabetize, and most of all I love to make lists. I have been known to make lists of my lists. I have been known to make lists of things that have already been accomplished just for the pure joy of crossing everything off. To illustrate our lifestyle while fulfilling my list quota for the day, I have compiled several lists for you all to enjoy. Hope these shed some light onto life with an almost-two-year old!

A descriptive list of all the things that Ethan has eaten, destroyed, ingested, broken, spilled, spoiled or in any other way ruined in the past six weeks:

A container of margarine…half eaten the other half smeared on the leather furniture and the rug

Several boxes of cereal….eaten, then the remaining contents dumped onto the floor and rug

A container of cumin….rubbed thoroughly into his hair

A container of dried ginger….ground into the rug

A bag of raisins (imported from the US)…dumped into the ginger which was ground into the rug

A box of sugar cubes…eaten…all of them except what was ground into the rug

A container of cookies…eaten…all of them except what was ground into the rug

A bunch of bananas…eaten mostly and what was left ground into the rug and the peals hidden in various parts of the furniture until they could be located only by their smell

The DVD/VCR player…the VCR side was filled with refrigerator magnets and the DVD player with melted chocolate cookies (fortunately Will was able to salvage it)

The TV/DVD/VCR….the VCR was filled with his sisters hair barrettes and bands, the DVD player with…chocolate cookies

Most things in that come in cardboard containers which are kept in the cabinet…this was accomplished while repeatedly filling an empty two liter bottle with water at the sink and dumping the water all over the counter, cabinets, kitchen floor, hallway, rug, bathroom, dining room floor, Elijah and Emma

A Rubbermaid container of left-over spaghetti…completely ingested, except for what was rubbed into his hair, clothing and of course the rug

Three bars of dark chocolate used for cooking…eaten and then the melted residue on his hands wiped all over the audio/visual equipment

Two cereal bowls…broken on the kitchen floor

Three glasses…broken on the kitchen floor

One plate…broken on the kitchen floor

Two juice glasses…broken on the kitchen floor

Disabled the furnace…this was done after he had locked himself in the basement

Turned off the hot water…also while in the basement

Large hole found dug in the unfinished side of the basement….while in the basement

A toilet paper holder….ruined while being used as a shovel to dig the hole in the basement

Half a jar of peanut butter….eaten, then the spoon used to scoop it out hidden under the couch and subsequently stuck to the rug

A 20 oz container of Nesquick dry chocolate milk mix (imported from the US)…dumped on the rug

Culinary discoveries that Ethan has made in the last six weeks (most of these discoveries were made after the entire object was consumed):

Bathroom cleaner does not taste good
Spray starch does not taste good
Leather furniture does not taste good
Grubs do not taste good
Ladybugs do not taste good
Flies do not taste good
Ants do not taste good
Licking the rug does not taste good
Sucking on the balcony railing does not taste good
Diaper wipes do not taste good
Bleach wipes do not taste good
The wax that the cheese comes wrapped in does not taste good
Bread still in the plastic bag does not taste good
Kiwi fruit still with the fuzzy skin does not taste good
Crayons do not taste good
Markers do not taste good
Colored pencils do not taste good
Watercolors do not taste good
Acrylic paint does not taste good
Glitter glue does not taste good
Pastels do not taste good
Emma’s art projects do not taste good
Water drunk out of the lid of the hair gel container does not taste good
Hair gel does not taste good
The rubber tires off his brother’s toy cars do not taste good
The sticker decals on his brother’s toy cars do not taste good
Vicks does not taste good
Chap stick does not taste good
Vaseline does not taste good
Used tea bags out of the trash can do not taste good
Anything out of the trash can does not taste good
Toilet bowl brushes do not taste good
Dried cumin does not taste good
Dried ginger does not taste good

Top ten rules of the Maxson house:

10. Always remove the rubber tires from any new toy car
9. Always lock the front door (Ethan escapes)
8. Always lock the gate (Ethan escapes)
7. Always lock the bathroom door
6. Always lock the basement door
5. Always lock the computer
4. Always put the rubber bands back on the cabinet doors
3. Always make sure any consumable item is kept sealed in plastic bags (which Ethan can’t open, yet) and kept higher than four feet from the floor
2. Always place spill-able liquids higher than four feet from the floor
1. Always bungee cord the chairs back together around the table when you are done eating

We don't call him Captain Destructo for nothing!