There is of course more to this developmental phase than just language discovery. This really is the “great awakening” of a little mind. They are seeing things for the first time and realizing that they are a part of their world. Their little personalities are forming in funny ways and their methods of expression are just as hilarious. With Emma we were enthralled with our beautiful first baby girl. Everything she said was an epiphany to us, filled with wonder and humor. Eli was frightening, his intellectual capacities became evident very early on and his grasp of all things mechanical and electrical were (and still are) rather intimidating. Fortunately he had enough sense to avoid dangerous things. Ethan on the other hand is my Columbus. He gets an idea about what may lie just out of reach and won’t rest until it has been discovered, who cares if it is dangerous, poisonous, or just plain not a good idea. He has already, at his age, had innumerable discoveries and adventures.
As much as I love to hear Ethan talk I have learned that there are several things that I really, REALLY don’t want to hear. I have compiled a brief list of some of them. I have written them phonetically because they loose much of their cuteness in the translation but for those of you who don’t speak Toddler I will include a brief translation.
· “I squwirt Mommy” (I’m going to squirt you Mommy)
These words uttered during a diaper change will strike fear into any mother’s heart. And believe me, he’s good for his word.
· “What doin’ Daddy” (What are you doing Daddy?)
Typically these words aren’t catastrophic but it is the place and time at which they are spoken that is the deciding factor in their cuteness level. When they are said while standing next to our bed in the darkness at 3am they are most certainly NOT cute.
·“I go work Mommy. Kiss.” (I’m going to work now Mommy. Give me a kiss)
These words were spoken just a few weeks ago while I was making dinner. He toddled into the kitchen with his sister’s backpack on his back, his brother’s water boots on his feet and the house key in his hand. While the image was very cute and I couldn’t help but give him a kiss, I was still very worried. These words, when taken into account Ethan’s previous solo expeditions in our neighborhood, were enough to make me very afraid. I have since kept the doors locked and the house key out of reach.
·“Where goin’ Mommy?” (Where are you going Mommy?)
Like the second bullet point this phrase is judged by its content. When I have just spent a good hour rubbing his belly, snuggled up with him in his bed trying desperately to get him to go to sleep so that Will and I can have 45 grown-up minutes together before falling into an exhausted sleep, these words are not what I want to hear. I have mastered the technique of slipping out of his bed with out making a sound and sneaking across the squeaky floor, but I am all too often thwarted by the noisy door knob which gives me away. I cannot begin to express the horrible sinking feeling that overwhelms me when I hear these words when I am just inches away from my freedom.
·“Ok Mommy, I cween up” (It’s ok Mommy, I’ll clean it up) or “Sowwy Mommy” (Sorry Mommy)
These phrases I’ve grouped together because they are often heard together or used for similar circumstances. These words are often spoken after a period of silence. Silence in our house is not a good thing. Silence means that Ethan has gone exploring, usually in the kitchen or bathroom (see the list of things Ethan has destroyed below in the April 1 blog). Usually when I hear these words I am coming down the stairs and I catch a glimpse of Ethan as he runs into the kitchen to get a towel and run back to the living room, where invariably he has experimented with some food product on my living room rug.
There is one distinct difference between these two phrases though. “Sowwy Mommy” is often said while performing an intricate facial distortion, in which he pouts his lower lip, hangs his head, gives a general slump to his shoulders, and manages to increase the size of his eyeball to twice their normal circumference. This display of facial dexterity usually arouses either humor or sympathy on my part thus leading to a dramatic limiting in his punishment…clever huh!
· “Uh, oh” (uh, oh) “Oh my goooooodness” (oh my goodness) “Oh, mess” (oh my, look at the mess)
All three of these strike terror into any mother’s heart. They are usually preceded by the sound of breaking glass, a large thump, a crash, or a bang. “Oh, mess”, however is usually said with a slightly different vocal inflection from the first two phrases. “Uh, oh” and “oh, my gooooodness” are usually drawn out slowly and said quietly with a slight decrescendo at the end. “Oh, mess” is said in a surprised manor often with the voice rising and speeding up. He is genuinely surprised to find that the entire box of cereal would not fit into the drawer of the coffee table, or that the VCR will eject his half eaten cookie. His reaction to these situations are so unusual that I often find myself wondering what he thought would be the outcome….sometimes I am afraid to ask.
·“MMMMMM dewicious” (yum, this is delicious)
I hear these words quite frequently so one would think that they aren’t too frightening, but as with several of his phrases it depends on the context, more specifically which room of the house he is in when he says them. 50% of the time, when uttered in the kitchen, they are a compliment on my cooking. The other 50% means that there is some large mess that I will have to clean up. When these words are said in the bathroom it means that I need to look up the number for poison control (actually I have it memorized, 1-800 222-1222, but unfortunately this only works in the US, not in France). When these words are heard from the front yard it means that I need to go get a clean change of clothes for him because he has ingested mud, insects, dirt, grass, rocks, or flowers and is now filthy. When I hear these words from the living room it means it is time to vacuum. He has either taken something from the kitchen and dumped it onto the rug for better access, or he has simply found lots of interesting crumbs under the couch to dine on and it is time to clean the floors. When these words are said from my office/bedroom it again means that it is time to call my friends at poison control because he has eaten my chap stick, moisturizer, or found some interesting office supply product to suck on.
While this list may seem exaggerated I assure you it is a faithful account. I have even pared it down quite a bit for those of you who might be squeamish. For example I will not go into the definition of the phrases “I too sick, bucket”, and “Yuck!” Be grateful. For all his frightening phrases there are hundreds that take my breath away. “Wuv oo Mommy” and “Kiss” will forever hold a place dear in my heart. The one drawback to loving this phase of development, or any phase for that matter, is that the words I love to hear so much are slowly going extinct. Soon there will be a day when he won’t want me to kiss him, a day when I tell him I love him and all I get in return is an embarrassed “Aw Mom”. So while they last, I’ll treasure these frightening phrases just as much as the amazing ones and hide them away in the corners of my heart.
